Feelings of Loss: Part 2 - Guilty Nightmare

My room of Dark and solitary recess...
Being built by hands of regret.
Like a mausoleum with old wood,
And coffins of bitter memories.
A place that reeks of damp boards,
From tears soaked into floor.
While guilt rests in the walls,
waiting for you to breathe it all in.

A shallow "how come" repeats in mind...

Unfinished walls bear tattered remains,
just like these eyes into my soul.
And on the floor lay white sheets,
Clean amidst dust and rusted nails.
Climbing out of bed with a wieght in my chest,
Where my heart used to beat life from.
All thats left are molded cracks and folds,
like my callosity formed every time i die when i think of you.

A shadowed "what if" eats me alive...

Feelings of Loss - Part 1: Void Of Disbelief

Assurance rests past ashen fields
Where butterflies choke on dust
And man falls into Flame
Where fear surrounds dry rose petals
Lain for purposes of remembrance long ago
Or so it would seem like yesterday
A day that relives itself with every Sunrise

As I fall into hollow state
And lay victim upon the rocks
Wounded and uncaring
I continually recall your laugh and your pain
And feel as if the only thing i can do is rest in my void of disbelief

So I take first step onto cracked ground
And i feel myself waver
But your voice calls out to me
I see you past the fields of black and white
Running through vivid rays of sunshine
And chasing away dark corners
So i take yet another step with renewed hope
But you stop and turn to me...
"Fear not brother, for the dark journey that lies ahead is not yet yours to take. Turn back and rememeber."

The void starts to close
So I gather strength to climb to the top
but when i look i see
Not what i wished to see
But rather you as i feared you to be
Laying cold with my tear drops upon your forehead